Test your own talent test: Are you demanding too much of yourself?

Test rules: Please write down your options for each question and calculate which option has the largest number among A, B, and C.

Test Start

1. The whole team is working hard, and you are distracted by something. Everyone can understand your reasons, but you still worry——

A Final result: If the team fails because you didn’t give your all, that’s terrible.

B. Someone is dissatisfied with you: Someone may focus on the fact that you are not doing your job well;

C. Bringing pain to your hard-working colleagues: It would be terrible if everyone failed because of you.

2. You made a reservation at a restaurant, but an unexpected event prevented you from going, and you did not notify the other party to cancel. You would think -

A: Don't worry, there will always be someone to take that seat, and he will be happy to catch an empty seat;

B I should cancel the reservation and, as compensation, I will dine at the restaurant again at another time;

C I should cancel the reservation because the restaurant will keep holding that seat for me and I will end up losing revenue.

3. When you are in high spirits, but find that people around you are depressed, you will feel -

A What can you do? Pretending to be unhappy doesn’t help anyone;

B You feel a little guilty and try hard to hide your good mood;

C You feel very ashamed about this. There are so many poor people in this world, and yet you are so happy.

4. You are having a great time at the party, but someone is just sitting in the corner, as if they don’t know anyone.

A That’s their own problem. You are here to be happy with your friends, not to take care of people;

B You feel sorry for them and have wanted to go over and talk to them a few times;

C When you get home, you feel a little ashamed because you spent the whole night eating and drinking and having a great time but forgot to say a word or have a drink with them.

5. You forgot your dear niece’s birthday and forgot to prepare a gift. Seeing her cry -

A You also want to cry, and worry that she will never forgive you;

B You understand why she is so sad and hope you can make her feel better;

C You are in a terrible mood and wish you could disappear right here on the spot. How can you forgive yourself?

6. If a child has cavities, whose fault do you think it is?

A This is a social problem. Children watch too many advertisements for sweets and drinks.

B This is the fault of dentists and doctors. They should put more effort into health education and remind parents. The child himself also has certain responsibilities - he/she should listen to his/her parents;

C It is the parents' fault for not supervising their children's eating.

7. You received an invitation but are not very interested in the party. What are you going to do?

A. Refuse directly. If you don't want to go and the host of the party knows you don't want to go, then what's the point of going?

B You know you will feel uncomfortable if you go, so you just make up an excuse to turn it down;

C It's really hard for you to say no. Usually you say yes to an invitation, even if you don't really want to go.

8. Suppose a friend of yours leaves a message on the phone saying she is in pain, but you forget to call her back. Later, you heard that she was trying to commit suicide. You will feel -

A Sad, but not guilty. She cried and called for help. There must be a reason behind it, and it's not you.

B felt sorry for her and also felt a little guilty. This poor guy must have encountered a great shock to be in so much pain. You should have called or gone to see her;

C Severe guilt and shame. You feel that you are partly responsible for her suicide.

Test Results

You have most A's: You refuse to feel guilty about anything

Why blame yourself? There is actually no point in trying to guess how much damage has been caused after something has already happened. You very much agree with Nietzsche's view: "Only when we stop feeling guilty can we be free." Of course, it doesn’t mean that you never feel regret or compassion. Sometimes you doubt whether you have hurt others, but you will never give in easily. You focus more on your own feelings than worrying about what others think. Of course, you have some reason to do this - we are usually wrong when we try to imagine other people's thoughts.

You are very loyal to yourself, pay attention to protecting your inner freedom, and give people the impression of being natural and sincere. You don't like to hold grudges, and you won't deliberately make others feel guilty, because you know that if you wouldn't blame yourself in the same situation, then why make things difficult for others?

But sometimes, a moderate amount of guilt is necessary. Realizing this should help you. Listening to other people's feelings and doing something about them can help broaden your way of thinking - if you always act according to your original ideas, you may gradually lose your ability to listen and empathize, and offend others without realizing it.

Be brave the next time you doubt that you have done something wrong. Why not admit it? Each of us experiences self-blame and guilt. Acknowledging this means admitting that we are all imperfect and are willing to take responsibility for our own actions. After all, we are not gods.

Your answer contains most Bs: You like to use actions to reduce self-blame

Guilt? ashamed? Sure, sometimes you feel bad about it, but who doesn’t? You are willing to take responsibility for what you say and do, and often remind yourself whether you are hurting others. When someone around you is in trouble, you can empathize with how they might feel, try not to hurt or ignore them, and hope that you can do something to change the situation.

When you feel you should blame yourself, you will feel heartbroken and sorry, but at the same time you will try not to let these bad emotions control you. You are brave enough to take responsibility for some things, but you will never make yourself too uncomfortable. You prefer to control situations rather than indulge them, and of course, it would be even better if you could take proactive measures to prevent them from happening in the first place. When problems arise, you do what you can to minimize the damage and keep things from getting worse.

You are a cautious and sensitive person with a strong sense of responsibility towards others. But be careful: there are always some regrettable things in the world, don't believe that they reflect that you are not a good enough person.

While caring for others, don't forget to take care of yourself, because you may do unnecessary things due to oversensitivity. Know that feeling guilty about something doesn’t necessarily mean you should feel bad about it. Sometimes we simply cannot avoid hurting some people. You can never be perfect and you can never avoid hurting others. Don't be so attentive to other people's needs; you're already pretty good enough.

Your answer has the most C: You always make your life difficult

You often blame yourself frequently and harshly, and always feel that you owe too much to others. You often prefer to believe that you have hurt others and always overestimate the seriousness of the problem. So we often exhaust ourselves trying to make up for our mistakes and gain forgiveness.

Worse still, your guilt often turns to shame, from pain because you’ve done something wrong to pain because you’re a terrible person. Your self-confidence takes a hit.

Of course, having high demands on yourself also brings you some benefits - usually people are very friendly to you because you are always ready to help them; you are also very good at creating a good atmosphere that makes everyone feel comfortable, and you are welcome in many occasions.

However, extreme moral sense can still bring you a lot of trouble. Why do you always torture yourself? Putting pressure on yourself may not necessarily help others. Furthermore, if someone notices this trait in you, they can easily use it to manipulate you.

Understand that while self-blame can sometimes be a catalyst for change, you don't need to punish or denigrate yourself for it. Don't just blame yourself. Think about what you were thinking at the time and ask yourself, "What else can I do to improve the situation?" or "If I encounter a similar situation again, how can I prevent the problem from occurring?" Don't just judge yourself. Focus some attention on solutions.