Can I spend the 15th day of the first lunar month at my parents' home? Who would be bad if I spend the Lantern Festival at my parents' home?

The Lantern Festival is an important traditional festival in my country, which first existed in the Western Han Dynasty. Yuanxiao originally means "the night of the Lantern Festival". The streets and alleys are decorated with lights, and people are admiring the lights, guessing riddles, and eating Yuanxiao. So, can I spend the fifteenth day of the first lunar month at my parents’ home?

Can I spend the 15th day of the first lunar month at my parents' home?

According to the old traditional customs, one cannot spend the wedding at one's parents' home. There is a folk saying that you should not look at the lanterns at your parents' home on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month. This is also called "hiding from lanterns", which means you cannot go back to your parents' home to celebrate the first lunar month. The custom of "hiding from lanterns" on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month was originally a traditional custom of the Manchus. At first, it was said that on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, one should not look at the lanterns at one's parents' home, that is, a married woman should not stay at her parents' home during the Lantern Festival. Later, it evolved into not being able to look at the lanterns at one's parents' home or at one's husband's home, and one should hide at one's relatives' homes. Later, this custom was also spread to the Han nationality. However, in recent years, most of the couples have only one child, so it doesn’t matter which family they spend the Lantern Festival with. Each family takes turns to celebrate, and they can also invite both families together to celebrate, making it lively and happy. It's all fine as long as we discuss it with each other.

Who would be hurt if I spent the Lantern Festival at my mother's home?

A daughter-in-law cannot look at the lights in her parents’ home on New Year’s Eve, or her father-in-law will die. There is also a saying that "the lights of my mother's home are nothing but my mother's roots." This rule was very strict in the old society, especially in rural areas, and violating it was considered disrespectful. If for some special reason a married daughter spends the New Year at home, her parents, family and herself may be very unhappy. This is also a cultural phenomenon that has been passed down for a long time and may continue to be implemented for a long time. It is these customs, traditions, and even bad habits that together make up the New Year taboos.

In the old society, people could not go back to their parents’ home.

1. New Year

A married daughter cannot spend the New Year at her parents’ home on the first day of the New Year. She must live at her husband’s home, and can only go back if called by her parents’ home on the second day of the New Year.

2. Lantern Festival

The fifteenth day of the first lunar month is the Lantern Festival, and you cannot go back to your mother’s home on this day. There is a local saying that “after seeing the lanterns at your mother’s home, you lose your roots at your mother’s home.”

3. Beginning of Spring

In traditional Chinese customs, there is a rule that one cannot return to one's parents' home on the Beginning of Spring. It is said that "Spring" is bigger than "New Year", and returning to one's parents' home on the Beginning of Spring means making her family poor. There is also a saying that "Going to one's parents' home on the beginning of spring will make your brother-in-law poor", so married daughters cannot return to their parents' home on the Beginning of Spring.

4. February 2

It is said that February 2nd is the day when the dragon raises its head, and one cannot go back to one's parents' home at this time. This custom was created in the past in order to encourage the daughter-in-law to return to her parents' home earlier. After the second day of the second lunar month, the daughter-in-law would start working in the fields and she would also be required to take charge of household affairs.

5. Qingming Festival

Qingming Festival is an important festival for commemorating ancestors and most people take it very seriously. There is also a saying that a married girl cannot return to her parents’ home to visit the graves of her parents. It is said that her parents are afraid that others will gossip about her and make others think that there is no one at home.

6. Double Ninth Festival

The Double Ninth Festival is also called the Daughters' Day. Girls cannot return to their parents' home on this day. However, their parents are afraid that their daughters will be bullied by their husbands' family, so there is a custom of sending flower cakes to married daughters on the Double Ninth Festival. However, in some places, it is believed that a woman can return to her parents' home at will three years after getting married.