Is it good to visit my parents' home during the Qingming Festival? Who would be bad to visit my parents' home during the Qingming Festival?

Is it okay to visit my parents during the Qingming Festival? In traditional Chinese culture, people believe that a married daughter is like spilled water, so married daughters are not allowed to return to their parents’ home on many festivals, and Qingming Festival is one of them.

Can I visit my parents' home during the Qingming Festival?

Among the folk taboos, many places have the custom of not returning to one's parents' home during the Qingming Festival. Because Qingming Festival is an important day for ancestor worship, every household has to visit the graves of their ancestors, but a daughter who has become a nun cannot return to her parents' home to visit the graves. In addition, the people in her mother's family do not want her to go back to her parents' home to visit the grave, for fear that others will say that no one is in her mother's room. Moreover, according to traditional customs, only the names of sons and daughters-in-law can be engraved on the tombstones of ancestors. The names of girls are generally not engraved on the tombstones of their natal ancestors.

Of course, different places have different customs. Nowadays, in some places, daughters bring their sons-in-law back to their parents' home to visit the graves during the Qingming Festival. We should abandon the bad habit of not going back to one's parents' home during the Qingming Festival. For example, before Qingming Festival in Shandong Province, daughters must return to their parents' home to visit the graves of their ancestors because of Shandong custom, which is before Qingming Festival. In addition, women are responsible for visiting graves, burning paper and offering sacrifices, while men are responsible for cultivating the soil. Going to the grave and offering incense is done by the daughter and daughter-in-law together. Therefore, every married woman has to worship her ancestors for two days before Qingming Festival. One day is for worshipping the ancestors of her husband's family, and at the same time she receives the aunts-in-law and the husband's brothers-in-law who come back to her parents' home. One day she returns to her mother's home to pay homage to her ancestors and at the same time, she becomes an honored guest and enjoys hospitality from her brother's and sister-in-law's wives.

Who is not good for going back to your parents' home during Qingming Festival?

In the past, people in rural areas believed that it was bad for a married daughter to return to her parents' home to visit the graves, as it would bring harm to her family. If a married daughter returns to her parents' home to visit the graves, it will have a negative impact on her parents' family's fortune and reputation. Firstly, when a daughter returns to her parents' home to visit the graves, it will enhance the good feng shui of her parents' ancestral tombs; secondly, when a daughter returns to her parents' home to visit the graves, it will make outsiders think that her parents' family has "no successors", so generally speaking, a daughter's visit to the graves has the greatest impact on her parents' family. During the Qingming Festival, married daughters can only visit the graves of their husband’s family and cannot return to their parents’ home to worship their ancestors. In some places among the people, the elders believe that if a married daughter returns to her parents' home to visit the graves and worship her ancestors during the Qingming Festival, she will take away good luck and bring decline to her parents' home. Therefore, in some places, married daughters are not allowed to return to visit the graves and worship their ancestors. "If you don't avoid Qingming Festival, your father-in-law will die" is also a folk saying, which means that if you go back to your parents' home on Qingming Festival, it will be bad for your father-in-law. However, this saying is quite superstitious. In fact, modern people no longer have so many taboos.

On which days can I not go back to my parents' home?

1. During the Spring Festival, on the first day of the New Year, married girls must spend the New Year at their mother-in-law’s house, and can only return to their parents’ home on the second day of the New Year.

2. The fifteenth day of the first lunar month is the Reunion Festival, but you cannot go back to your parents’ home. There is a saying among the people that “seeing the lights of your parents’ home will lead to poverty for the rest of your life”, so you must celebrate the New Year at your mother-in-law’s home.

3. You cannot go back to your parents’ home on the second day of the second month of the lunar calendar, the day when the dragon raises its head.

4. On Qingming Festival, you cannot go back to your parents’ home, and women cannot go to sweep graves, no matter if it is at your mother-in-law’s home or your parents’ home. Women cannot go to the cemetery.

5. May 5th is the Dragon Boat Festival. It is said that this is because May 5th is the day for people to go back to their mother's home. This means that it would be bad for the mother-in-law if you go back to her on May 5th.

6. The first day of the sixth lunar month is also called the half-year holiday, but you cannot go back to your mother's home on this day.

7. July 15th is Ghost Festival, when all ghosts come out. You cannot go back to your mother’s home on this day. Because according to custom, daughters return to their parents' home on July 15th to worship their parents. If both parents are still alive, they should not go home, not even on July 14th, but on July 16th.

8. The 15th day of August is the reunion festival which can only be celebrated at the mother-in-law's house. If a married girl spends the 15th day of August at her parents' house, the neighbors will use it as a topic of gossip.

9. You cannot go back to your mother’s home on the Double Ninth Festival on September 9th. There is a folk saying that goes "If a girl returns home to celebrate Double Ninth Festival, her mother-in-law will die." It is especially taboo for a daughter who has been married for less than three years to return to her parents' home.

10. Winter Solstice. You cannot go back to your parents’ home on this day. There is a folk saying that goes, “If you don’t celebrate the winter on the Winter Solstice, your father-in-law will die.” This means that going back to your parents’ home is not good for your father-in-law.

11. On Laba Festival, you cannot go back to your mother's home. There is a folk saying that "If you don't eat rice from your mother's home on Laba Festival, your ancestors will not be able to pay it back." Another saying is that going back to your mother-in-law's home on Laba Festival will bring bad luck to your mother-in-law, who will die lying prone a hundred years later.

12. The Kitchen God Worship Day is also called the Little New Year. Because women do not worship the Kitchen God, there is a custom that they should not return to their parents’ home on the Kitchen God Worship Day.