What can’t you do within 35 days after a loved one passes away?

After a person dies, there is a custom of burning seven pieces of incense. Burning seven pieces of incense represents a kind of respect and remembrance for the deceased, and there are many taboos during the burning of seven pieces of incense. What are the things that cannot be done within 57 days? What can’t you do within 35 days after a loved one dies?

Things you can’t do within 57 days

1. Don’t attend wedding events .<br/>During the 57th day after death, people are still in mourning and are generally in grief. At this time, even if there is a happy event among friends, people in mourning cannot attend. Firstly, these occasions are very lively, and it is not appropriate for people in mourning to attend. In addition, filial people who attend weddings are afraid of bringing harm to the newlyweds.
2. Don’t wear red or green .<br/>As children, you should be low-key when you are 57 years old. You should wear plain clothes and wear less jewelry. It is especially taboo to wear red and green, or to dress in brightly colored clothes to be eye-catching. Doing so will be considered disrespectful to the deceased and give people a feeling of being unfilial.
3. Avoid entertainment activities <br/>People’s definition of mourning has changed a lot nowadays. In the past, people had to wear mourning clothes for three years and were not allowed to get married or promoted during this period. Social development has made great improvements since then, and most people only observe mourning for seven days. But even so, it is not advisable to participate in entertainment activities within the 57th day of the lunar month, such as parties, singing, traveling, etc. During this period, it is best for everyone to stay at home and not be too high-profile, otherwise it would be disrespectful to the deceased relatives.

What are the particulars of burning the seventh day?

1. Burning the seventh is a commemorative activity for ancestor worship, and it is very particular in some places. For close relatives, one should kowtow three times and nine times, while for distant relatives, one usually only kowtows four times. The so-called three bows for humans and four kowtows for ghosts means kowtow three times to the living and four times to the deceased.
2. For each of the seven sacrifices, the main offerings are also different. Buns, noodles, and steamed buns have their own particularities. One seven is dumplings, two seven is noodles, three seven is steamed buns, four seven is poached eggs, five seven is steamed buns, six seven is steamed buns. Although seven seven is random, it also means going well.
3. When burning the sevens, if it happens to be the seventh, seventeenth and twenty-seventh days of the lunar calendar (also known as the heavenly sevenths), it means that the sins of the deceased are serious and he needs to be properly liberated to avoid suffering in the underworld. Therefore, on this day, according to the age of the deceased, a triangular white chess piece should be inserted on the grave to atone for the sins of the deceased.
4. The purpose of burning seven incense sticks after a person dies is to commemorate the deceased. This is a tradition that has been passed down for thousands of years. As for the reason, some people say it comes from the Buddhist theory of karma. Buddhism believes that a person has six reincarnations in his life. During the time between life and death, a person searches for the cause of rebirth in the underworld, with a cycle of seven days. If he fails to find it within seven days, he can add another seven days until the seventh cycle, when he will definitely find the cause of rebirth.