Why can't we celebrate the New Year at our mother's home?

Xiaonian is one of our Chinese traditional festivals and is also very important. But why can’t we celebrate the Little New Year at our mother’s home? Why is there such a saying?

Why can't we celebrate the New Year at our mother's home?

There was a saying in the old society that a married girl could not return to her parents’ home to celebrate the Little New Year. In the old society, it was considered that a married daughter was an outsider and it was very inappropriate for her to return to her parents’ home frequently, as she would be easily criticized by others. Once you marry into your husband's family, you can only be relatives to your parents' family and you cannot visit them casually. According to superstitious beliefs, deceased ancestors will return home from heaven at the end of the year to enjoy offerings, and if they see "outsiders" in the house, they will not want to enter.

This can be seen from the sayings "Look at the lights in your mother's house, and you will give up your roots", "See the lights in your mother's house, and you will be poor all your life", and "Don't avoid Qingming, the old man will die", "Don't avoid the nine-day period, and your husband will die", "Don't avoid the beginning of winter, and the old man will die". Women must spend certain festivals at their husband's house. On the beginning of spring in the lunar calendar, "Look at the lights in your mother's house, and you will give up your roots". It is taboo to go back to your mother's house on the beginning of spring, because "spring" is bigger than "year", otherwise your mother's house will be poor. You can't go to your mother's house on the Lantern Festival, "See the lights in your mother's house, and you will be poor all your life", and you can't stay at your mother's house on Qingming Festival, October 1, the beginning of winter, Laba, the nine-day period, etc. However, the concept has changed in modern times, and there is no such emphasis. Many people will also go back to their mother's house during the Little New Year.

In the old society, people could not go back to their parents’ home.

1. New Year

A married daughter cannot spend the New Year at her parents’ home on the first day of the New Year. She must live at her husband’s home, and can only go back if called by her parents’ home on the second day of the New Year.

2. Lantern Festival

The fifteenth day of the first lunar month is the Lantern Festival, and you cannot go back to your mother’s home on this day. There is a local saying that “after seeing the lanterns at your mother’s home, you lose your roots at your mother’s home.”

3. Beginning of Spring

In traditional Chinese customs, there is a rule that one cannot return to one's parents' home on the Beginning of Spring. It is said that "Spring" is bigger than "New Year", and returning to one's parents' home on the Beginning of Spring means making her family poor. There is also a saying that "Going to one's parents' home on the beginning of spring will make your brother-in-law poor", so married daughters cannot return to their parents' home on the Beginning of Spring.

4. February 2

It is said that February 2nd is the day when the dragon raises its head, and one cannot go back to one's parents' home at this time. This custom was created in the past in order to encourage the daughter-in-law to return to her parents' home earlier. After the second day of the second lunar month, the daughter-in-law would start working in the fields and she would also be required to take charge of household affairs.

5. Qingming Festival

Qingming Festival is an important festival for commemorating ancestors and most people take it very seriously. There is also a saying that a married girl cannot return to her parents’ home to visit the graves of her parents. It is said that her parents are afraid that others will gossip about her and make others think that there is no one at home.

6. Double Ninth Festival

The Double Ninth Festival is also called the Daughters' Day. Girls cannot return to their parents' home on this day. However, their parents are afraid that their daughters will be bullied by their husbands' family, so there is a custom of sending flower cakes to married daughters on the Double Ninth Festival. However, in some places, it is believed that a woman can return to her parents' home at will three years after getting married.